Motivation doesn't last.

We don't need to fight and cry.

I have this sudden need to escape. To Batam. -__-

Or anywhere else where I can just ease my mind and have plenty of time with my friends. Meh. Cause apparently, week 5 of my school is here and that means all the tests are on this week and I am semi-stress over it, I wonder why. But the aftermath of being all stressed up is the whole "i dont give a fuck" mode. Opps.

Yeah and I guess I'm halfway through there. :/


I stayed at home the entire weekend this week. Found the need to pause from my hectic scheldule and take a step back and look at where my life is going and what do I really want out of my life (and love life). And also to catch up on my sleep. Sleeping at 3am-ish every night and waking up at 7am the next day isnt funny okay. -.- School school. Whoever said it was easy~

You know when sometimes you need something to fill you in?

Thats exactly how I feel right now.



Im giving up on my essay research and gonna rest my eyes watching Gossip Girls :) Taa~

Long day yesterday, long Friday the 13th.

Was one helluva day. I went out at 730am (when none of my family members are even awake and went off like a zombie and took the train to City Hall to meet Veronica. We had an adventure finding the interview place but turns out to be at Novena so we cabbed there. So near! Haha.

Interview at Cotton On store at Novena! We were the first ones! So kiasuuuu. Haha! The manager, Gus, was so friendly and goodlooking! I thought he was gna be mean and sarcastic but noooooo. He was supaaaaa nice to me and Veronica! And yes, you guessed it right! We got the job! I was super shocked cause it felt so.. easy. Whatmore, he's so nice! Gargh. Maybe thanks to my retail experience and the fact that I worked at a couple of places before and the fact that Im studying Retail Management helps!

He was blabbering about how he loves this gay lectuter from my school and asking if I knew him! HAHA so hilarious. He said if im good, he may put in good stuffs for my resume, since Im studying Retail Management! Mehhh :) Breakfasted at Macs with Veronica and we were off to school! I actually didnt know that I had a lecture 9-11 :/

Came to school at 11am and helped out at the TPSU booth!

FUN FUN FUN! Was selling donuts at Engine school (scary place) and got pretty scary stares and random smiling strangers who looked at me as if they knew me. Haha. Said alot of hellos here and there and I got to sell 3 donuts! EH ACHIEVEMENT OKAY. Cause the rest were more interested in buying the helium balloons. Heheeee. So all is good (Y) Was wandering around soon after and hanging out at Alex's and Deon's booth.

All in all, whatever I spent yesterday WAS FOR THE CHARITY! I bought...

- a cute smiling lego ring.
- 2 cheese hotdogs
- a drink
- 4 pin buttons with cute graphics.
- 2 tp badges.
- and I played at game at Alex's booth and won this cute beanbag dog :)

All for charityyyyyyyyyyyyy. Yay! Hehe. Im tryna make myself feel better here. HAHA. All the booths was so nice! Some of my favourites was the one selling the cool rings. Wanted to get this tiedye shirt so badly but its so ex!! 30bucks leh. I didnt have that much money in my wallet :/ And the one selling the cool pins/buttons! WHOA. Good strategy. The whole lot of them were selling lotsa food/soda/cokefloats/brownies/cookies/cottoncandy! haha.

Here was my highlight of the day at CCN day.

I was hanging out with Isk and his group of friends from SP (who happens to be very blunt when commenting on girls) and standing at the bridge in school, waiting for idk what. I was sticking with him cause apparently my phone died in the morning and needed to contact ppl badly. Ah anyway. Suddenly Isk nudged me.

AND MY HEART STOPPED.

Cause there he was, right in front of me, walking with his usual group of friends - P. He didnt notice me at first, but his friend did, and his friend told him, "Ehhh, faizah." And he turned. At that very 2 second I didnt say a thing and it felt as if my heart skipped 2 beats. Yes, not one, but 2! haha. I was shocked + happy + nervous + melting, just seeing him.

Me : Omg hey! Hello! (i was blushing but it wasnt apparent)
P : Ehhh hi. You with.... *looks towards the group of boys* your friends..?
Me : Errr ya, its Isk's friends uh, not mine.
P : Ohhhh okay *looking concerned* Your class not doing any booths?
Me : No lah, I helping out TPSU only. How come I didnt see youuu at all!?
P : Im here now, arent I? :) (ahhhhhhhhh melts)
Me : Heh. Its nice seeing you. Where are you going now?
P : Ohhhh to the tiedye shirts there. Mcm cool jer.
Me : Ohh, alright. You go ahead lah.
- I so wanted to leave everything else and follow him walk around, but he was with his friends :( -
P : Okay, you take care kay.
Me : Yeaaaah, see you around. Take care.
P : *smiles goodbye*
Me : *meltsssss*

After that, I felt like an emotional nutcase. I was so happy I was jumping like some maniac -.- and letting it all out on Isk. I knew he wished I could shut up BUT IT WONT HAPPEN! hahhaa. Said my goodbyes and off to City Hall (second time for the day) and met Nazrin :)

Was complaining how much I dread taking trains and how it rained all day. :/ Trained to Dhoby Ghaut and had Starbucks :) Waited for that Ash to come and we took a bus down to town. So many places! Haha. Had dinner at KFC and off we went for our movie! There was Sheryl Harith Wirda Faizal Ash me and Nazrin!

2012.

IT WAS FRIGGING GOOD. Intense - thats what they described the movie. I'd say it left me guessing and guessing if they're gna die or not. Damn, you just have to watch it to know man. It was really good. I wonder if it'll happen to us in 2012. Hmmmm. Even if it did, I wouldnt regret. I would just die, knowing theres no more point living if my loved ones are gone as well. Heh.

Movie ended at 12.10am and it was still raining. I was mega pissed off at the fact that my phone died and I had 7 new msges from my mom worrying where I was and feeling so helpless cause its not that I didnt want to call her, but my phone's being a total bitch is not helping at all, omfg. Ended up I cabbed home. $26 bucks GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. plus a scolding from Mommy :(

I hate it when shes upset. Heh.

Sorry Mommy :(

So many things to worry about. So little time.

Im listing down the things Im saving for lest I miss anything out.

- Blackberry Curve/ Bold.
- KL trip with Alfi in Dec.
- MUSE Concert tickets.
- Green Day concert tickets.
- .... and more bands expected to come.
- Year End Shopping.

Okay work your ass of Fie! Goodbye to weekends and free time! Hello White Sands Cotton On!

they're coming as well, march 2010
hm, i'll prolly go cause by then i'll be feeling all emo and crap cause cuz i misse muse & YYYs.
Karen o.. =(

anyway this is all i've been listening to.
today was a very lazy saturday, went out to eat with my family before going home and sleep.
i needed the rest, but now i'm so wide awake. shit.

**

i need need to go out tmr, results on monday!
and i lost all my picks, so angry! i had to break my $10 to buy them
and cohen's pissed too. and i wanted to play ryyan today >=(
sounds wrong on so many levels kekeke. omg gonna need to fork out cash

the fencing mates bought presents and stuff and are asking for $10 each.
wah buy what sia!? and the sch's yearbook is also $10
omg wth, it's ok i don't even want it, i'm nt even in the class photo.
with all the money they're sucking they could use it to replace the zinc roof at the walkway. so kampung

i'm so pissy now cause i took so much time to save money and everything's being blown.
and i'm nowhere near to getting those pick ups. i'm so upset
AHHHHH I FEEL LIKE CRYING.

and next week's timetable doesn't make it any better,
the revival of H1 mathematics. AH WHY DID I TAKE MATHS.
oh yeah cause i couldn't take science. AHHH!! i knw i failed fo sho. ^^

so how was my birthday? it was AWESOME X 13 TRILLION CHEWY JUNIOR CHEESY PUFFS. lemon and me actually counted down to my birthday, waited till midnight, idk why but it was super exciting hahaha. and then we both headed to bed to sleep because we needed to wake up early for work. i woke up at 430 to bathe and get ready and zoom to work as per normal. lemon comes in to work at 8.30 and he die die ask me to meet him for a while idk why. so at abt 8.15 i went down to level 6 and met him. he gave me a plastic bag filled with breakfast and lunch and silly love notes! that naughty lemon woke up at 5 freaking am just to cook for meeeee! how can one not be happy when her boyfriend does that because he knows she's dead broke and she was worrying about not eating at work while she was at home?? then skali the boyfriend surprised her with that! haiya. i decided to do overtime till 530pm so that we could spend some time together since he ends at that time. and we did and lemonade treated me to pizza hut after soooo looong!

i know, it's pretty simple. but maan, this doode has already stolen my heart since 8 months ago and he still knows how to do it. no one has ever done this for me. and for the first time in my life, i cried on my birthday.

su honey, you're amazing and you know that. even if we din make that trip to pizza hut, even if you don't spend a thing on me, i'd still consider this birthday the best one ever. if it's not, i wouldn't be so emotional about it, like ergh lidat haha. i only ask to receive all the love in the world on my birthday and you've given me that, maybe even much more than that, beyond planet pluto and mars. i wish i had done more on your birthday though. now i really can't wait for next year. you're my miracle water haha! i miss you already. you have made me feel super special today. i wish i hadn't carelessly thrown away the adorable notes =( . i care for you sooo much ok. i won't leave your side either.

i miss my best friend too.

I’ve come to learn that it wasn’t your words that hurt me the most, but your silence.

Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel so disgusted. I really need to start going out to jog. I can’t stand looking down and have my belly block half of my view on Mr Schnuggles.=(

I officially love Sembawang. Everybody here is so fucking nice to each other. It’s like, all the courtesy campaigns the government has ever done actually WORKS here. I see people bumping into each other and each party apologizing, kids giving up seat to old ladies on the bus, people holding the lift for you despite how far away you could be. People ACTUALLY saying “Hello” to each other EVEN IF YOU NEVER MET THEM IN YOUR LIFE.

I love it here.

This Christmas is gonna be different. I feel it in my bones.
Not anticipating this year's because i know its gonna suck.

Okay, this sucks.

I need a reindeer to make up for a sucky 2009.
Do i hear any takers?

Met my lovely girls todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :)

Its special how we may not see each other for many weeks... months even, but when we finally do meet, the love and bond is still there. Never gone. And I also love it how Faz could click with us so well - something I wish my future boyfriend can do. Its like an additional bonus yknw. Not every bestfriend's boyfriend can click so well like he does. So its good. Hope to keep it like that =D

A pity we're all in different schools.

But I think its good this way. We've twice as much things to talk about every time we do meet! <3

Today's Public Speaking class was one of the most intense ones. I had to present 3 times. So maluuuuuu. My speech about Ris Low was quite a success.. just that, I contradicted myself.. ALOT OF TIMES. Haha. Im a contradicting nutcase, i know. -.- Class ended late and I had a nice bus trip to Yishun talking to Nazrin on the phone :)

I repaid him by sending him an MMS. Mehhhhhhhh. :)

Tomorrow's going to be a long long day!
- Interview at Cotton On.
- Back to sch for CCN Day.
- Lepak.
- Meet MST for movie/dinner.

:D

So many things to look forward to! And I hope I get to watch the movie. Heh.

OP is finally over!
it was quite okay actually! received positive feedback from the audience,
i hardly stumbled and managed to tackle this damn suay question. all in all, it's over!
whew, i can breathe easy noww~~ except i still have I&R to do, plus lit assignment.


So some of the classmates went to watch paranormal activity,
i'm so upset with the movie! what's with the high reviews! the first half was boring
then there was the build up, then omg finally it gets scary at the last 20 mins.
ok undeniably it was genuinely frightening, and i got freaked out like crazy after the movie.

Nan grabbed my shoulder and i turned to see her face and screamed,
sim ai turned her head slowly to me and i got freaked out and screamed.
liz laughed and i screamed.
Nick suddenly "BOO"-ed  me and i screamed.
i was such a pussy.



& btw, yeah that's what i'm having,
cheap choc ice cream with caramel syrup
almost finished a whole tub, i feel like crying, that foreshadowing jiggle is becoming a reality
now i'm pissed. and my mum's too lazy to go for the pre-departure briefing tomorrow.