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NRMRHJML

  • Apr. 27th, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Despite all the negative and nonsensical things I say about life, I think it's weird that I find things making sense now - A silver lining indeed. And my meals have never tasted better. Alhamdulillah. 

Fools and luxury

  • Apr. 12th, 2012 at 4:31 PM
I can't wait for school to start. That way, I can use being tired as an excuse to not meet anyone. 



"Love me, love me
this is how I'm forced to live,
but I don't wanna live like that.
I don't wanna live knowing second words."

Conversations, conversations

  • Apr. 11th, 2012 at 1:57 AM
Conversation with Kinny started off pretty bad. I don't remember ever having such an intense conversation with her - not in the last 3 years, at least. I never expected any of it when she said she had things to tell me. I've always known what kind of a person I have been in the last 5 years, but I never expected for her to actually list everything out - It's like someone wrote a book on my life and reading it out to me. That evening saw us in tears and I swear I felt like every bad thing I have done just flashed through my mind like a movie and inflicting a pain I thought I wasn't able to feel. 

Kinny thinks I'm not an asshole; only that I make bad decisions every damn time. I still choose to think otherwise. Even though I have explained to her thoroughly on why I do things the way I do, I feel like it's never enough. She has been so fucking patient with me since 2007, but I really never see her standing right in front of me (Michelle Branch reference). No words can ever express my apologies to her, except my actions. 

I still am clueless, but I wish I knew. Don't we all? 

And this morning I re-read the letter that she had written to me and I broke down. With all my heart, I wish I could take everything back and get a clean slate, but let's face it.. No one can ever alter your past (I make it sound like I used to kill people for a living (lol to myself (bracket in a bracket (braception))))

I need to re-evaluate on my life. I do this all the time but I always get back to square one. FUCK MY LIFE.

You're not Professor X

  • Apr. 10th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
If you love someone, tell them. No one can read minds. 

Quelle fucking surprise

  • Apr. 8th, 2012 at 11:49 PM
I was craving for a Ramly burger earlier this afternoon, so I went over to the pasar malam in Admiralty - unaccompanied. I normally don't go anywhere with my shadow, but I just wanted to see what was all the fuss about being alone. Thank God for the invention of Twitter; I didn't really feel alone. Then again, who am I kidding? I was having my dinner at a void deck, facing these two girls - who were quite attractive, might I add - and I bet they thought I was a loser. I mean, I would. 

Okay, so I felt lonely. More often than not, I'd have someone that I can tell how exquisite my food is. But tonight, I was just.. alone. And I realized that I was able to sort out my Afiq to Afiq feelings (inspired by Nuramirah Jamil). So I did, and I'm glad I did. 

Anyway, has any of you ever wondered what is our purpose in life? I had a strange thought on my way back home in the train. Maybe all the good stuff from the Ramly burger got to me and kinda boosted all these weird thoughts into my head. 

Video games

  • Apr. 8th, 2012 at 5:22 PM
These days I have been happy, but somehow I always feel like something isn't right; or it's not enough.

 I guess.. I need to learn how to appreciate the littlest things in life. 

Park yew

  • Apr. 6th, 2012 at 4:21 PM
Come to think of it, I'd prefer living without feelings. 

Mothership

  • Apr. 5th, 2012 at 3:40 AM

Can't believe I'm turning 22 this year. I know it isn't a big deal for some of you because you're probably 35 or something. Old fool, get out of my blog! It's the first & only time for me to experience turning 22 and I feel like I'm aging too fast? Yes, you know what I'm talking about. I don't think I have been a productive human being for the last 21 years of my life, except for being the world's best heart-breaker. But that's another story - also one that has been touched on a lot of times. 

I wanna write about girls - a subject that's found to be a wee bit touchy - and how I feel about them. 

Girls tend to over-analyze. I do too, but I guess girls do it excessively. Say I'm having a conversation with a girl friend and I ask about the weather. (Seriously, what is with me and weather-related questions?)

Afiq: Hey, why is the sky blue?
Some hot girl friend: Beats me.


Okay, that sounded boring as hell. I hope I don't come off as a boring conversationalist! 

Afiq: I think I like you.
(The same) Some hot girl friend: It's unlikely that I don't feel the same way, but can you wait for a little while? I need to know whether I'm "allowed" to like you back. 


Like oh my god? I hate it when they do that and don't comprehend that I use proper words in my sentences so that it would be clearer. 

According to the Dictionary, the definition of 'think' in "I think I like you" is: "Take into account or consideration when deciding on a possible action" So yes, I was actually considering if I had a crush on you, but I guess your lack of understanding turned me off - among other things. 

I think this self-proclaimed war on 
superiority between male and female is never ending. */**



* Note that I used "think"
** Note that I didn't mention homosexuals 

Afiq rindu korang

  • Apr. 5th, 2012 at 1:43 AM
I haven't been making time for my friends. I miss a lot of people. If you come across this post, I miss you. You know who you are.

Dilemma

  • Apr. 3rd, 2012 at 9:37 PM
Right now I can't decide what I want to do with my $2000. I bet like 90% of you would suggest that I should give the money to you, but no. As much as I want a bike, I want to get some guitar pedals too. I miss playing music so much. Sigh, but I shan't bore y'all on how I feel about music. I have already done that in one of my old posts. 

Small update: I managed to go through to my 2nd year of study at RP with no modules to repeat. I'm so thankful for that because I never really studied much, but I did whisper to God for help before my examinations. Times like this I start to question myself on my faith in religion, but soon after I go back to... whatever I am. A human being, perhaps? Yeah. 

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