- Mood:
happy
"Love me, love me
this is how I'm forced to live,
but I don't wanna live like that.
I don't wanna live knowing second words."
- Mood:
blank
Kinny thinks I'm not an asshole; only that I make bad decisions every damn time. I still choose to think otherwise. Even though I have explained to her thoroughly on why I do things the way I do, I feel like it's never enough. She has been so fucking patient with me since 2007, but I really never see her standing right in front of me (Michelle Branch reference). No words can ever express my apologies to her, except my actions.
I still am clueless, but I wish I knew. Don't we all?
And this morning I re-read the letter that she had written to me and I broke down. With all my heart, I wish I could take everything back and get a clean slate, but let's face it.. No one can ever alter your past (I make it sound like I used to kill people for a living (lol to myself (bracket in a bracket (braception))))
I need to re-evaluate on my life. I do this all the time but I always get back to square one. FUCK MY LIFE.
- Mood:
angry
- Mood:
scared
Okay, so I felt lonely. More often than not, I'd have someone that I can tell how exquisite my food is. But tonight, I was just.. alone. And I realized that I was able to sort out my Afiq to Afiq feelings (inspired by Nuramirah Jamil). So I did, and I'm glad I did.
Anyway, has any of you ever wondered what is our purpose in life? I had a strange thought on my way back home in the train. Maybe all the good stuff from the Ramly burger got to me and kinda boosted all these weird thoughts into my head.
- Mood:
okay
I guess.. I need to learn how to appreciate the littlest things in life.
- Mood:
calm
- Mood:
sick
Can't believe I'm turning 22 this year. I know it isn't a big deal for some of you because you're probably 35 or something. Old fool, get out of my blog! It's the first & only time for me to experience turning 22 and I feel like I'm aging too fast? Yes, you know what I'm talking about. I don't think I have been a productive human being for the last 21 years of my life, except for being the world's best heart-breaker. But that's another story - also one that has been touched on a lot of times.
I wanna write about girls - a subject that's found to be a wee bit touchy - and how I feel about them.
Girls tend to over-analyze. I do too, but I guess girls do it excessively. Say I'm having a conversation with a girl friend and I ask about the weather. (Seriously, what is with me and weather-related questions?)
Afiq: Hey, why is the sky blue?
Some hot girl friend: Beats me.
Okay, that sounded boring as hell. I hope I don't come off as a boring conversationalist!
Afiq: I think I like you.
(The same) Some hot girl friend: It's unlikely that I don't feel the same way, but can you wait for a little while? I need to know whether I'm "allowed" to like you back.
Like oh my god? I hate it when they do that and don't comprehend that I use proper words in my sentences so that it would be clearer.
According to the Dictionary, the definition of 'think' in "I think I like you" is: "Take into account or consideration when deciding on a possible action" So yes, I was actually considering if I had a crush on you, but I guess your lack of understanding turned me off - among other things.
I think this self-proclaimed war on superiority between male and female is never ending. */**
* Note that I used "think"
** Note that I didn't mention homosexuals
- Mood:
bored
- Mood:
gloomy
Small update: I managed to go through to my 2nd year of study at RP with no modules to repeat. I'm so thankful for that because I never really studied much, but I did whisper to God for help before my examinations. Times like this I start to question myself on my faith in religion, but soon after I go back to... whatever I am. A human being, perhaps? Yeah.
- Mood:
indescribable